5/20/2014
It helps to be a little crazy
I really wanted to get accepted into the Israeli army. I
was thirty years old and could have gotten an exemption if I pushed a little,
but I saw it as my duty. I fudged a few questions about my medical history and
told everyone including the janitor at the draft office that I wanted to serve
in the army. One of the last stages in the draft process was the psychological
test. It was a long questionnaire, which challenged my new abilities at reading
Hebrew. The questions were very simple, and it was obvious which answers would
indicate an unstable personality, not to be trusted with an automatic weapon.
There were a few questions which challenged me as a person trying to be in
touch with my spiritual nature. “Do you feel there is an entity inside of you,
telling you to do things you don’t want to do?” I circled ‘No’, trying not to
think of my daily battles with my evil inclination. “Do you sometimes leave
your body?” Well…on a good day I do manage to connect with an expanded vision
of creation. I was starting to think that society might see the struggle to be
religious as a form of insanity. On one question I couldn’t hold myself back.
“Do you feel the world changes drastically from one day to the next?” I circled
‘Yes’. I handed in the exam to a young sergeant who had been trained to grade
these tests, thereby qualifying him to judge my sanity. He marked off my
answers as I sat across from him. When he got to the question about the world
changing, he looked up. “Would you care to explain your answer?” I smiled and
handed him my passport. He looked puzzled but opened it up. The picture showed
a young man in a black t-shirt with long curly hair, a moustache, and dangling
earrings, a biker. In front of him sat a man with a beard and yarmulke, a
religious Jew. I smiled. He gave me a passing grade and approved my induction
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